To be joyful is to be vulnerable
by Sarah on August 17, 2016
Vulnerability is becoming a more socially acceptable concept. The increase in awareness, study, conversation and application across all spectrums of society is significant. This discourse has primarily been around letting go of perfectionism and embracing authenticity, cultivating deeper relational connections, as well as an increased value in taking courageous risks in order to be innovative, creative and accomplished.
In classrooms, conference rooms, coffee shops and churches we are letting go of what we perceive we’re supposed to be and embracing who we truly are. This movement is creating a powerful cultural shift in how we engage in our relationships and find meaning and purpose in our achievements.
In my personal journey, alongside years of working with individuals, couples and groups, I’ve discovered the outer edge of transformational vulnerability is allowing ourselves’ to experience the fullness of JOY.
To be joyful is to be vulnerable.
This looks different than admitting our mistakes or being compassionate toward ourselves’ in our weakness, though these are all important aspects of this process. Rather, it looks like risking to delight in our in-the-moment experience while feeling the discomfort of its impermanence.
Joy touches the most tender, vulnerable parts of who we are. What if I experience deep contentment in this moment and then it’s gone? What if I express my exuberance and someone tells me to be quiet, to not be so dramatic, to act my age? What if I allow myself to feel the deep gladness in my heart and then I experience hurt, rejection or abandonment?
It’s risky to experience joy.
The other side of joy is not depression, it’s fear. We are afraid to experience joy. We fear the unknown; we fear loss and disappointment and to protect ourselves’ we anticipate the impending collapse of our bliss. But, we can choose to live a different way.
I’ve decided everything is uncertain: it’s the true nature of things. In this reality (or instead, this infinite possibility), I can choose to be in my life and embrace the unknown or I can choose to never experience the fullness of joy because I fear what I can neither predict nor control. The choice is up to me.
Are you ready to experience more joy? Cultivate gratitude in your life. Want to feel more alive? Give yourself permission to be playful.
Let’s Practice: When you notice you feel vulnerable, acknowledge the feeling and then express gratitude for something you feel thankful for. Then, go do something fun that makes you giggle like a little kid!
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below.
The Way Out Is Through
Thank you for these words. I am going to be as health emotionally as I choose to be.
Favorite quotes from your post:
1. I can choose to be in my life and embrace the unknown or I can choose to never experience the fullness of joy because I fear what I can neither predict nor control. Why? It reveals the words that are the data of my souls struggle to accept, embrace(given my myself permission internally, privately, publicly to express ,expose, confess my wounds to my self and another) and embody(imperfectly take next steps) trusting the process of facing this seemly life long undercurrent and constant turbulent state of fearing relational abandonment as the consequence of being vulnerable–but you say it the key to joy. My heart agrees , my head is reluctant and my hands choose uncertainty, even as I type this post it’s a declaration of war for inner peace. (sometimes I surprise myself when I express myself )
2.Joy touches the most tender, vulnerable parts of who we are. What if I experience deep contentment …I express my exuberance …I allow myself to feel the deep gladness in my heart and then I experience hurt, rejection or abandonment? Why? I am in two 12 step programs, seeing a social worker for mental health counseling seeking a systematic process of introspection to be the me I want to be through REAL relational connection showing others my needs and trusting it will led to having them met.
You blog post was posted in a Facebook Inner Healing group and I felt compelled to review it. As a male perhaps the thing I fear the most is moving from the theory of vulnerability to the embodiment. Whither do to pride in the perception of self perfection, anxiety of the what If scenarios, or fear of what I will summarize your post: relational abandonment. Each time it feels life jumping out of a plan with no parachute trusting God will allow me to hit the ground and survive, it feels like Indian Jones- taking steps where their is no visible bridge but with each step the foundation appears. Pray for me, hope for me, encourage me…I desperately desire to live a transformed life with my heart postured to be present over perfect, make progress over perfect and live practically vs. perfectly. Keep doing work that is true to your self and calls us all to do the same.
In Christ,
Derick Rev 21:7 , Jam 1:22